FLASH fiction

Guy De Balzac's Last Wife

feeds@yuku.com (Tommygoround) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 03:28:47 GMT

So, we're out in the Gobi and the wife is being rather close to the vest about her implants. She won't let me insert a needle into her saline tits to put in my arm and refresh. The sun is taking all we have and she aint giving. It's just like her.

Suppose we weren't really driving out in the arid nothing for any particuliar reason. She simply said one day, "I have more money than you," and then I countered that she did not.

"My father is the...

not much happening here

feeds@yuku.com (Dave Ruslander2) — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:04:20 GMT

have you moved to yuku?

dave

http://www.dscpublishingllc.com/voicesinmyhead/

Through poetry and art, his book can help you understand affective disorders

a mad tweed eye

feeds@yuku.com (Tommygoround) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:30:02 GMT

---PROMPT---
SO IMAGINE YOU ARE IN A FUNERAL...
- what could you sell?
give us as many words as needed before the reader dies of laughter. No dramas please.
That would be cheating.

---FIRST DRAFT ----

bob smelled like wet dog in the air conditioner. I mean: HE REALLY REAKED. The good people at Chateau Du Morte assured us all that dad would not stink. But he did.

I grabbed the ex-wife's purse. She only showed up because dad once danced with her at...

HOW TO MAKE THE BOSS YOUR BITCH.

feeds@yuku.com (Tommygoround) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 02:55:49 GMT

HOW TO MAKE THE BOSS YOUR BITCH.
A NINE STEP PROGRAM.

this material is copyrighted, but not spellchecked, by author.
Please use these advisory weapons with all sincerity.

1.) IDENTIFY YOUR FUHRER'S NEEDS. yOU ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO THEM AND THEY ARE ACCOUNTABLE TO SOMEONE OR SOME ENTITY.
2.) CIRCUMVENT YOUR _B_ AND FIND OUT WHAT THEY DO & WHAT THEY CALL WORK.
3.) DO YOUR JOB EXCEPTIONALLY WELL.
4.) REWARD YOUR HARD WORK WITH SMOKING,...

need a faster read?

feeds@yuku.com (Tommygoround) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 22:28:35 GMT

email direct
and I will post in forum
WITH NOTES

tommy AT ideolocator.com

Melts in your mouth

feeds@yuku.com (Dave Ruslander2) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 17:32:05 GMT

Good morning, this is Dave Morry on KMRG eighty-eight point. Nans hand slapped the snooze button on the clock radio. John rolled over and pulled Nan to his side. She put her head on his shoulder.

Hey babe, today is your big day, you need to get up. John yawned.

I know, Nan said.

Did you get any sleep? John asked stroking her hair.

A...

Oh Please, Please Again

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 00:31:06 GMT

Shea O'Gentee was a few lbs away from breaking his executive posterpedic chair. There was no reason to bring attention to this future disaster because the man spoke fluent sport-ease and buzzed in business terminology.

For example, he never said "Keep your trap shut," but instead referred to secrets as 'close to the vest' and private council. He pitched jargon straight from the bullpen and preferred to use analogy over common sense.

"How are you today ......

F/U Bush (look hard for f/u)

feeds@yuku.com (Dave Ruslander2) — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 08:47:55 GMT

Freedom?

From sea - polluted to sea - contaminated our federal
union has destroyed states rights,and is dismantling
civil rights, one by one. What happened to, "for the people, by the people?"

Know the constitution and youll realize freedom is an illusion.
Your president ignores habius corpus, free speech, and believes in torture.
Our countrys leaders are the terrorists. Have we become the new...

4 out of 5 little car thieves

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 12:53:37 GMT

In an effort to curb the number of juvenile car thieves without licenses, the Governor has announced an amnesty program for the state of Fortuna.

"We want to make sure that all of these little bastards know what they are doing when they get behind the wheel."

Thursday prompt

feeds@yuku.com (Tommygoround) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 12:20:31 GMT

Pretend that you just received an email from Nigeria, promising to make you rich if you help them smuggle out currency from their country.

(Or other internet email scam).

What happens after you reply?

www.fbi.gov/majcases/frau...letterscam

Long Hot Tunnel

feeds@yuku.com (Twist 101) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 19:56:37 GMT

I don't remember what led me to this cave, but it seemed so damn exciting at the time. Daryl mentioned it while shooting pool and smoking weed one night. Told me he used to play in it as a kid. Told me it wound all around under the middle of town. Tell him I hate him. Tell him he's responsible for my death if I'm found here.

Yes Daryl. When I peered through the opening, I could see nothing but the floor fade into blackness. Just like you said. Couldn't have been no more than 10 feet...

History

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 02:19:32 GMT

Francis Scott Key was a sell-out. At least -- that's what the word on the street was.

"He just capitalizing on the war," says the owner of the Bard's Breath.

Charlie Thampson burps into his ail cup and swears that Francis is a fellow drunk. "Guy belted out a few verses for the beer." Charlie gets dizzy spinning on his toes while he intereviews. His energetic limericks become bad poetry.

Marriam, the whore, has a secret. "We were in the middle...

Creative Writing Class Assignment

feeds@yuku.com (b3av3r) — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 22:35:41 GMT

taking a creative writing class this semester and this is my first assignment. I had to "draw" a character.

Aint nothin better in life, Andy mumbled around a mouthful of slightly cold pork and beans. He spoke aloud to no one in particular because there was no one in the small apartment with him. In the last ten years, no one had been in the apartment with Andy, but he went right on talking just the same.
A beer, a game, and a recliner. Aint nothin better in...

prompt

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 00:49:17 GMT

Grab a fortune cookie or a Snapple and write a story from the token of wisdon or the fact found on the bottle cap.

Some Dream

feeds@yuku.com (gawell) — Wed, 27 Dec 2006 22:11:29 GMT

I was Jonah in the belly of a whale
and a whale of a belly it was.

I saw Ed Grimley pretending to be Martin Short, standing by the T.V.
Inside the T.V. was Martin Short pretending to be Ed Grimley, I must say.
Of course he wasn't really inside the T.V.
He was being beamed there electronically.
A form of photography captured his image.
Some where in the past, Martin was on a stage, where the filming took place.
Currently, Martin, pretending to be himself, is asleep...

ya know

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 02:20:20 GMT

Ya know how you and the buddies can sit around trying to dream up the perfect restaurant? Well, a few years ago we got some money from an extortion job and did just that. Name: NeverDAsame

We meant that we were sick of corporate food. Always having new people order a Reuben sandwich cause "who can fuck up a Reuben?." We took our ten kid a meal knowledge (because we all grew up Catholic or Mormon and knew how to feed ten people if we hadn't made any money stealing)....

questions:

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 03:04:19 GMT

What if half the people at a circle jerk are left handed?

Are dildos tax deductible if you give them to charity?

Can two gay men give eachother diamond studded cock rings for an engagement?

Red and green

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 19:39:08 GMT

A laptop sat atop knees shaking, fingers jabbing at the keyboard, searching for people he knew long ago. His eyes focused on a point only inches from a nose, a nose that extended down and away from a sagging face with a long, putty-gum chin.

Melted wax drizzled slowly down an unlit candle.

"Where is the bastard? I just need an address. Why doesn't the internet have him on file?"

The Christmas cards had all come back with no forwarding address last year. In...

prompt.. read and post in 1 hour

feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d)) — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 01:01:10 GMT

PROMPT: satan is lonely at christmas.

Interview with a Fern

feeds@yuku.com (gawell) — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 18:51:30 GMT

An interview with Fern a houseplant, with a lot of free time on her.....er.....fronds?

Question: Is it true you started out as a clipping from another plant?
Fern: I am that plant and that plant is me.
Q: Is that like cloning? Or what?
Fern: Don't get me started. We invented cloning. WE are the original clones. Cloning begins and ends with plants.
Q: Will humans ever have a successful clone?
Fern: We have a rule. Never clone an imperfection.
Q: Granted, humans are...