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Exit Interview:

Frantic voices faded in and out, shouting orders at one another. A woman was crying, saying something.
“I love you, I’ll see you again soon.”
Some type of alarm was going off. He wished it would stop soon.
Fluid was filling his lungs, he fought to breath but couldn’t. The thunderous sound of his heartbeat was pounding inside of his head. Then it stopped. More crying.
“That’s it, mark the time.”

Silence.

“Hello Jonathan.” said a deep throaty female voice. Yes, that was his name wasn’t it? Jonathan. But he was quite certain he was called something else. It was something a little easier to say than Jonathan. But what was it?
“Hello?” He replied as his eyes darted around the room.
“We trust your journey was enjoyable and that you no doubt have many questions for us. In a moment the door in front of you will open. Please walk through the door and have a seat. We will begin the interview momentarily.”
        Jonathan gazed at the door at the end of the hallway. Just as the woman had said, it opened and he was met with an even brighter light emanating from the entranceway. The light was so intense that he was unsure if he would even be able to look in its direction while he walked towards it. After several minutes of squinting and blinking he was standing at the threshold. He took a deep breath and walked into the adjoining room. It seemed as though the instant he walked in to the room the lights were dimmed significantly. Now he was able to examine the room with no difficulty at all. It was a small and, just as the previous area, contained only one white chair sitting in the center of the room. The old man made his way to the chair and slowly sat down, his eyes darting in all directions as his mind tried desperately to make sense of the situation. He heard the door close automatically and was once again greeted by the voice.
        “Thank you Jonathan, I believe you prefer to be called John, is this correct?”
        “I, I think so. Yes.”
        “Excellent. John is it also correct that your primary language is English?”
        “Yes, that’s correct.”
        “Good, it seems as though everything is in order then. I am sure, John, that you are currently unaware of why you are here and most likely disoriented and very confused.” She paused, as if waiting for a reply. John wasn’t sure what to say so he simply nodded.
        “I will perceive the gesture of nodding your head upwards and downwards to indicate that you are in agreement with me, and will assume this henceforth unless you notify me otherwise.” This woman, whomever she was, spoke slowly and carefully annunciated every word. John found the voice pleasantly relaxing, almost intoxicating. She began to rattle through different statistics pertaining to his life. As each fact was stated, he was greeted with a rush of memories and emotion. Certain items such as his first birthday party and his first outing to the pub made him smile, cheer, and laugh. But as visions raced through his mind such as the death of his mother and his son losing a leg in an automobile accident, he sobbed uncontrollably. Through all of it, the voice continued on unwaveringly. Finally, after what must have been many hours, she finished.
        “And on September 25th of 1974 you expired due to lung cancer. It appears your death was linked to an addiction to cigarette smoking.” John sat silently with his elbows resting on his knees and his head bowed to the ground. He remembered lying there in the hospital bed. Looking over at his wife and two children. They were crying, holding his hands and telling him they loved him. He remembered the voices, all those hospital monitors. The rhythmic sound of the oxygen machine. His next memory was sitting in the windowless room. The pain in his chest was almost unbearable now. He wondered when it would stop.
        “And so John, as it is apparent by your emotional reactions that all facts regarding your life and death on earth are correct, I believe we can proceed with your exit interview.”
        “OK. My, my what?”
        “You exit interview. Would you like me to elaborate for you?”
        “Yes please.”
        “Certainly. The exit interview was created specifically for human beings. All other life forms on earth are redistributed amongst one another. Unfortunately this is not possible for human beings. We are continually striving to better understand this particular species. Exit interviews are conducted with every human being moments after his or her death. The data gathered through this interview will be used during the creation of new humans before they are inserted on earth. It is our hope that someday we will be able to remove the flaws present in your particular species in order to allow redistribution, or to put it in terms you might understand, reincarnation.” This onslaught of information was beginning to make John’s mind ache.
        “As I said before, I’m certain you have many questions for me. At this time I will be glad to answer those for you. It will help with the interview if you are free of uncertainty.” John sat in his chair, completely stunned. What did she mean questions? Of course he had questions! He was so confused right now he couldn’t begin to ask.
        “John? Do you have any questions for me?”
        “I’m not sure I understand what’s going on here.” Was all he managed to say? There was a moment of awkward silence in the room.
        “I’ll need you to be more specific John.” This statement, combined with her tone of voice, angered him.
        “SPECIFIC? You want me to be specific? Fine! What are you talking about? Where am I right now? Oh and also, who the hell are you? If I’m going to sit here naked and answer your questions then I want the full story. Did I die? Is this Hell? You want a question? Here’s one. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” He became aware that he had stood up. He was shouting as he looked in all directions trying to locate the omni directional voice.
        “John, please resume your seat and I will explain.” John stood for a few moments contemplating whether or not to oblige the request. Finally, he sat down.
        “Thank you. Now, as I can see, you are an exception to our normal interviewees. You have, in fact, brought with you to our side the main flaw in human make-up that disallows us from reinsert…..from reincarnating you.”
        “And that would be?”
        “Self-awareness.” John sat silently. His mind was spinning rapidly, trying to comprehend what was happening.
        “You see John, you are actually a creation from a race of beings who’s name you cannot pronounce. In your language, it would sound remotely similar to Neehualwa. I am a member of this race. If you would like, I have received approval to give you a brief history of the creation of Earth, as you know it. Would you like me to proceed?” John sat listening intently. He nodded his head once again.
        “Very well, many millions of years ago, the Neehualwa were at war with several other races. As a safety precaution, we decided to create a mirrored dimension of our own. This dimension would sit dormant, but would provide an escape route for our “people” as you would say, should the other inhabitants of our universe ever drive us out. But after much time had passed, and peace was restored to our own universe, a debate occurred over what to do with the universe you call home. It was finally decided that the planet most similar to ours would be populated with life. Here, we would be able to experiment with our own creations. It would allow us to study the effects of placing so many creatures in a relatively small habitat. And allowing the Earth itself to supply its own defense mechanisms in order to attempt to create an equilibrium.”
        “So your telling me I was created by aliens?”
        “No, not aliens John. We are inhabitants of an entirely different dimension than the one you know. As we created you, it is not within your ability to fully comprehend the magnitude of the information I am giving you. To put it in your terms, it would be like asking an automobile to comprehend humanity. It simply cannot. Shall I continue?”
        “Yes, please.”
        “Very well. The Neehualwa created every species on Earth. And through close monitoring and cultivation, we were able to introduce new species every several thousand years. We were also able to take the life we had inserted into past creatures and reuse it in new ones. This helped tremendously with our efforts and resources. You see John, life, as you know it, is a resource which comes from my race, and it is finite. This program was an amazing success until we introduced human beings.”
        “What happened then?” By now, John had forgotten that he was sitting in a small room naked, having died just moments ago. Now he was simply hungry for more information.
        “Human beings didn’t react the same way other species had. Most importantly, they developed self-awareness. As I mentioned to you before, this is a very disturbing trait. Humans began searching for their purpose in the world. It wasn’t enough for them to merely exist, they had to know why they existed. Humans created religion, and we used this to our advantage. We endowed several humans with special abilities. From these gifted men, many religions were formed in separate parts of the world that are still in practice today.”
        “You’re telling me you created God?”
        “No John, you created God, we simply gave it substance. Unfortunately, doing this hurt our cause more than it helped us. Instead of practicing the teachings of these men: to love one another, to strive for peace, to respect life, humans instead used religion as another reason to create destruction and mayhem on Earth.” John sat in his chair stunned, knowing that this did indeed make perfect sense.
        “Humans destroying one another is not the biggest concern for the Neehualwa today. Every other creature on our planet has learned to adapt to its surroundings; however, humans have become intent on adapting nature to meet their own desires, no matter the cost. This practice has thrown off the equilibrium of the Earth and will result in its complete destruction within the next three hundred years. If we allow this to happen, we won’t have the resources available to create a new universe, and will lose everything we have invested in your world. Therefore, we are conducting interviews with your species once they have expired in order to attempt to find methods of modification that will allow us to repair the defects resident within them.”
John sat silently. With every human theory he had ever pondered, there was a certain amount of faith that had to be used in order to fully believe. Not with this one. The voice in the room had just pulled the mist away from his eyes and allowed him to see the story of his creation. He was terrified most by the thought that he already knew all of this, and the voice had merely reminded him of it. All of the human wars that had been fought over land, money, and religion made perfect sense now. The complete lack of respect humans had for the Earth and all of its resources. Humans weren’t superior; they were defective. Without thought or warning, he began to sob loudly.
        “John, we have spent quite a large amount of time going over your history. It is imperative that we conduct the interview immediately.” John kept his head buried in his hands, tears flowing through his fingers. What kind of existence was this that even a dead man could cry?
        “John, please. Could I begin the questions?” Finally, John raised his head up. He remembered his parents, his family, and his friends. All of them destined to meet the same fate as he. Some of them already had. He wondered if those that had gone already thought of him during their interview.
        “No”
        “Excuse me John?”
        “No. I don’t want to do the interview.”
        “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
        “You’re not going to find an answer. I’m a human, and I can tell you for a fact that there is no hope for my race. So no, I don’t want to do the interview.”
        An awkward silence enveloped the room. John stood there, naked and motionless. He waited for a response; his arms now crossed in front of him. Finally, the female voice returned.
“John, do you understand that in refusing to conduct the interview you’re hindering the possibility of the furthering of your species?”
        “I understand, and my answer is no.” There was a brief pause. Then the voice returned.
        “Very well John, thank you for your time.”
        The light shut off.
        Immediately John felt the wind gusting through his hair as he was rushed out of the room. He was now hovering in a vast expansive space, cloaked in darkness. John tried to open his mouth to shout, but couldn’t. He glanced down and realized that he no longer had a body. In fact, he had no physical presence whatsoever. Thoughts were all he had now, and they seemed to be disappearing from his memory rapidly.
        As John’s life vanished in to nothingness, he had one final thought.
        “This is amazing, all the pain is gone!”
        Then he forgot what pain was.